Love is All You Need

New Year's Eve 2013 was the best New Year's of my life. Ben and I had a carefree, colorful and simply magical night. And it was all from the comfort of our own home.

As we counted down and toasted at midnight I felt an overwhelming feeling of peace. I just knew 2013 was going to be one of the best years of my life. I was getting married in April to the man of my dreams and I was the happiest I had ever been.

And as the clock struck midnight, Ben and I raised our glasses and made a toast. A toast to the future. A toast to perfection. A toast to happiness. A toast to health. A toast to 2013.
And looking back now..It was also a toast to blissful ignorance. Because 2013 was about to turn into the hardest year of my life.

Some days I feel like these months have defeated me. I feel physically and emotionally exhausted. I feel discouraged and lost.
Some days though, I feel a sense of peace.  I may not be quite as innocent as I was last year. I'm 26 and learned from personal experience that bad things can happen...our lives can be turned upside down at the blink of an eye. Or rather, the click of an x-ray.

But what I have really learned is that those beautiful moments filled with naive hope, love and laughter. Those moments are what keeps us going each and every day. They fuel us through the bad times.


I close my eyes and I can fast forward to New Year's Eve 2014. Ben and I have our champagne glasses in hand. And I know in my heart we will toast to innocence again. To perfection, happiness, health and to our future. We will be smiling and giggling and those are the moments and memories that get us through everything else.

I find strength in my naiveness. I find strength in my innocence. And most importantly, I find strength in the cliche that "Love is All You Need".


June 10, 2014: (I figure I should update this blog post. Ben and I did not get to toast to a cure on New Year's. Hell we didn't even get to toast to a diagnosis. But we did get to toast to love. And for that night, love was enough)